


his dark knight

by vindicatedtruth (behindtintedglass)



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: M/M, episode tag: All In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 04:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12549040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/behindtintedglass/pseuds/vindicatedtruth
Summary: John stares at Harold, and silently begs,don’t come back to her, please.





	his dark knight

 

 

_"You alright? I heard what Lou said to you."_

_"Oh. You were listening?"_

_"... Always."_

 

* * *

 

 

John stares at Harold, and silently begs,  _don’t come back to her, please._

John knows it’s irrational, and acknowledges that it’s wholly selfish, but he’s allowed now, isn’t he?

He’s allowed to try and fight to keep the only piece of happiness he has ever known, isn’t he?

He’s allowed to hoard his  _reason for living_ now, isn’t he?

Because if Harold leaves their job now—leaves  _him_ —he will only be endangering so many lives.  Not only the Numbers who will now be left at the behest ofplanned  _violence_ , with nothing and no one coming to save them, but most of all, Harold will be endangering  _Grace._

John holds onto that thought desperately as he tries to justify his possessiveness, his  _neediness_ of Harold, by telling himself that he truly wants to protect Grace, too; he  _likes_ her, he truly does.  In fact, Grace is probably the loveliest, purest person John has ever known—much like Jessica, he readily admits fondly, wistfully—and John doesn’t deny all the reasons why Harold loves her.  It’s hard to imagine a reason why anyone  _wouldn’t_ love someone like Grace.

Her name is fitting, too.  Like a blessing from heaven.

And that, John tries to tell himself, is the reason why he wants Harold to stay away from her.  Because the job they do is about walking through hell, and an angel like Grace—like Jessica—shouldn’t be tarnished with the darkness they’ve already sold their soul to.

John understands Harold more than anyone.  And he wants to convince himself that it’s enough—that it  _should_ be enough—for Harold to  _stay._

Because with him… Harold doesn’t have to fight to keep  _him_ safe, like he does with Grace.  With him, Harold doesn’t have to worry.  Harold can stop being the one to  _protect._ Harold can finally let go of his role as the white knight, defending the innocent within the cyber walls of his own making.

With him… Harold can be the King.  And John will be his dark knight, the one to keep  _him_ safe, protecting Harold with his guns and his explosives and his hands and his body and what’s left of his goddamned  _soul_ , even if it means spilling his own blood so that no one will ever lay a hand on Harold ever again.

He understands the sacrifices Harold has made for the greater good they  _both_ want to believe is possible, and he wants Harold to  _stop,_ and let  _him_ make that sacrifice for him.

_You don’t have to keep me safe,_  John wants to tell Harold desperately, curling his fingers at his sides to keep himself from  _touching_ Harold.   _You don’t have to protect me… so you don’t have to send me away._

_You don’t have to_ leave  _me, like you did with_ her.

He steps forward, his tongue heavy in his mouth, unable to speak, his thoughts swirling with so much longing that his heart  _aches_ with it:

_Let Grace be safe without you.  And let me keep_ you _safe._

He thinks of the four years Grace has been granted to have with Harold, and wishes, desperately:

_Give me the chance to try and make you as happy as she made you.  D_ _on’t come back to her.  Stay with_ me _.  Until the very end._ _That’s all I’ll ever ask of you._

_Stay with me, Harold._

_Please._

 

 

 


End file.
